I keep having inappropriate thoughts about aliens and dwarfs
So pretty much every other Tuesday when I check out my local news some junior high school teacher is getting busted for dating students, downloading child porn or, the granddaddy of them all, taking a vacation to some exotic land for a little sex tourism R&R with small and unsuspecting children. Which is just stick your finger up the grossest person you can think of’s ass and then cover it with dirty kitty litter box sprinkles then stick it down your throat to make yourself vomit up the horse shit you were just forced to eat at gunpoint disgusting. Now don’t get me wrong, not all men (or even all junior high music teachers) are child raping pervs, but this is just another example of an idea that COULD have been awesome being totally, completely and colossally ruined because someone put men in charge of it. And I’m not talking about pre-teen on adult dating or dirty kiddie pics. I’m talking about sex tourism.
Although I am not the biggest fan of ‘tourist’ attractions, one has to admit that the majority of folks on the planet earth are. Otherwise there wouldn’t be so many assholes standing in line for an hour or more to, say, ride on a 3 minute rollercoaster and stare at the never ending displays of an animated mouse that really is not particularly attractive, has never said anything remotely interesting to my knowledge and has, quite frankly, the most effed up and annoying voice in the world. And a lot of people like, or at least can tolerate, sex. Otherwise there wouldn’t be so many effing assholes just dying to take a ride through the Witch Mountain. So I can totally see ‘sex’ and ‘tourism’ making magic just like ‘chocolate’ and ‘peanut butter’. Just in a totally different incarnation. Let’s face it. We need to nuke the existing industry and start again from scratch.
So I’m gonna hijack the driver’s seat to this bad boy and take sex tourism OUT of the dark side and back into the light. And it will be better than Disney Land. Trust me.
Now take a moment and think of your own sexual fantasies. They (hopefully) don’t involve doing creepy things to toddlers in tiaras, but run more along the lines of a chance encounter with an extraterrestrial, some afternoon delight with a cyborg, or, for the little girl that still lives in all of us, dressing up like Snow White and having seven appropriately endowed dwarfs cavort with you under the covers.
Now I’m no venture capitalist, and certainly no expert on sex or even tourism. But I know a good idea when I see one. So I’m throwing this out there for anyone who wants to catch it. And when you do, do me the teeny tiny solid of comping me into the time travel room. I just know there’s this ancient Egyptian sun god dude waiting over there with my name on it.
Although I am not the biggest fan of ‘tourist’ attractions, one has to admit that the majority of folks on the planet earth are. Otherwise there wouldn’t be so many assholes standing in line for an hour or more to, say, ride on a 3 minute rollercoaster and stare at the never ending displays of an animated mouse that really is not particularly attractive, has never said anything remotely interesting to my knowledge and has, quite frankly, the most effed up and annoying voice in the world. And a lot of people like, or at least can tolerate, sex. Otherwise there wouldn’t be so many effing assholes just dying to take a ride through the Witch Mountain. So I can totally see ‘sex’ and ‘tourism’ making magic just like ‘chocolate’ and ‘peanut butter’. Just in a totally different incarnation. Let’s face it. We need to nuke the existing industry and start again from scratch.
So I’m gonna hijack the driver’s seat to this bad boy and take sex tourism OUT of the dark side and back into the light. And it will be better than Disney Land. Trust me.
Now take a moment and think of your own sexual fantasies. They (hopefully) don’t involve doing creepy things to toddlers in tiaras, but run more along the lines of a chance encounter with an extraterrestrial, some afternoon delight with a cyborg, or, for the little girl that still lives in all of us, dressing up like Snow White and having seven appropriately endowed dwarfs cavort with you under the covers.
Now I’m no venture capitalist, and certainly no expert on sex or even tourism. But I know a good idea when I see one. So I’m throwing this out there for anyone who wants to catch it. And when you do, do me the teeny tiny solid of comping me into the time travel room. I just know there’s this ancient Egyptian sun god dude waiting over there with my name on it.
Posted by Jennifer at 7/16/2010 6:11 PM 
Categories: Really effing strange even for me
Tags: i know you agree with me but are afraid to admit it in public it's like combining chocolate with peanut butter only better
Categories: Really effing strange even for me
Tags: i know you agree with me but are afraid to admit it in public it's like combining chocolate with peanut butter only better
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